RUNAWAY ELEPHANT LEFT AMID SNAKES
If Alice, Chained in the Bronx Reptile House, Cuts Loose Look Out for Trouble. HER DAY ON THE RAMPAGE Women In Bronx Park Crowds Scared Into Fainting Spells as She Dashes Around the Park.
Hotel Sherwood
September 19th, 1908
Saturday 4:00 PM.
My darling Sue:
Don’t look through this letter in an attempt to find anything valuable in the way of money or other possessions on account of receiving a registered letter but if in it you can find any trace of love it is meant for you and first handed. If ever you find anything in my letters that you care to pass out to friends you are at liberty to do so. The main purpose of my writing to you is to keep you in touch with my whereabouts and try to keep you in touch with my heart and it’s affection.
I am simply indignant to think that anyone in The Standard office [a newspaper John owns with his brother -in-law, Clayton] has the ignorance and impudence to open any mail. I can't believe that Clayton has ever done it-I would very much quicker believe that that great fat lobster of a Daniels has done it or that flimspy piece of humanity used as a window flower in our office.
If you happen to open this letter before going home and you have any money hire a separate post office box at once. It is possible that you are mistaken, but probably not. The satisfaction of being able to get our mail just handed will be worth the cost of a box. As soon as I read your letter I went directly to the post office to see if I could register a letter tomorrow and found that six o'clock tonight would be the latest time that I could do it. So I have come to my room at four o'clock to write my Sunday letter. I am sorry to cause you to come to town to get this letter but the walk may do you good.
I spent the afternoon at XXX and arrived here at just noon and found your letters awaiting me and they have done me, oh! so much good. You don't know Sue how I would like to be with you over Sunday and have a visit with you. I need it. I would just like to throw my arms about you and tell you how I love you. This week has in many ways been the most trying and perplexing, one that I have ever experienced and to be away over Sunday is very hard. I have not been myself all the week and I hope never to experience a week like it. My hay fever has caused me much annoyance for two or three days and have not been at my best physically and I other ways have been terribly depressed. You say that you do not think I was enthusiastic over the sale I made in Elmira and guess I wasn't and have not been enthusiastic over anything. My sales for whole week amount to only a little over $450.
When I got here I opened up your letters in order as they were written and enjoyed them all. Every letter without a single exception that I have written you this week should have reached you on the D L & W morning train at 10 something. All of my letters have been mailed so as to go out in the evening. Of course, when I didn't get a letter at Bath, I thought it strange for I knew that you ought to have known my address in time and then after that I thought possibly you had not sent any mail to Hornell. Sue. have you ever thought that my letters home have been written from a sense of duty instead of love, or that I have found the task burdensome instead of a delight, if you have you have been mistaken. This week has come the nearest to it for I have had the imaginings that you cared little about hearing from me, but in my right moments I know that it is not so. It is not hard work that wears us out; it is worry, anxiety and fears of one kind or another; often without good cause.
As I told you in my letter last night, I could not tell you of the condition of my heart and mind this week. I would not want to look over a photograph of my mind this week. I hope to feel decidedly better this coming week.
I sometimes feel that you very much underestimate my love for you and my home. You refer to my getting home this week. I have not many towns to work about Elmira. I referred to towns in the western part of my territory that should be visited, not sometime this year, but NOW! Had I gone home from here a distance of 215 miles, it would have cost me, besides my time, near $8 as I would need to come back to this spot again on Monday. As far as going to Binghamton, I had far rather stay here and keep quiet. It would cost $6 to go to Binghamton. It is not to be with my friends and acquaintances that my heart longs for, It is to be with you and only you. I hope I can feel that to be partially true, at least, in your case. I love you more than you know and what has in part given me such a week has been the fact that my mind has constantly wandered night and day over the unpleasant things of my life; the unkind word that has been spoken in an unguarded or
vexed moment and the times when I have lacked patience.
There is just me. One person in the world who can, by doing one thing , add to my life, untold satisfaction and peace. And that person is none other than my dear wife. Whether she will do it or not, is left with her. How I would love to see you and talk with you and feel your loving presence. I am not lonely merely, It is more than that. There is just one thing that I need as much or more than your love and that is your faith and confidence. I am deserving of it and must have it in order to live. There is only one thing you can ever do to show me that you believe in me. Will you do it?
You can think of me Monday as having attended church on Sunday and having spent much time in my communion with God. May God's blessing and care be upon you all is the earnest prayer of your loving faithful husband.
John
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